FBI Monitor
by DKGWrites
Summary: Lena posting pictures on Instagram tagged to the FBI agent who is watching her piques the interest of the actual FBI. Things quickly go from business to pleasure as things heat up. Every so often, people will jokingly make a comment about the FBI agent who is reading their Tumblr. That led to this idea. It's a romance born of government surveillance.
1. Chapter 1 - Popsicle Girl

It's a hot one in National City, and Lena and Sam are enjoying a day at the zoo with Ruby. The twelve-year-old is excitedly pointing out otters who are playing with objects frozen into blocks of ice. The adults stand nearby fanning themselves, Lena under a large hat and quickly fading.

"Is there a bar someplace at this establishment?"

"Lena," Sam chuckles, "There's no bar at the zoo."

"Oh." Opening the map she has been using as a fan and studying it, Lena frowns. "Perhaps I should have asked for more details before I agreed to this little expedition. When you and Ruby took me to the Renaissance Faire, I was happily surprised by their beverage selections. It was the highlight of the day."

Arms crossed, Sam looks down at Lena. "The highlight of the day?"

Deadpan, Lena replies, "Yea, verily yea."

The two women hold eye contact for a few seconds before they both break out into a fit of laughter. They laugh long and hard enough that the sound draws Ruby over to them.

"Hey, what's so funny? What's going on?"

Fanning herself again, Lena replies, "Heatstroke, I think."

"Lena's brainpan is fried." Sam grins.

Ruby frowns as she looks back and forth between the adults, but then, as she spies something in the not too far distance, she immediately perks right up. "Hey, I see something that will help all of us."

"Is it a troubadour with a yard of mead?" Lena turns, looking in the same direction Ruby is.

"Enough you." Sam elbows Lena. "What do you see, sweetie?"

"There's an ice cream cart over there. Who wants ice cream?" At her own question, Ruby lifts her hand high.

"I could go for a popsicle," Sam says, raising her hand.

"The majority rules." Lena gestures toward the cart, and when an excited Ruby runs ahead, she adds, "Maybe they'll have some adult flavors."

"You are such a lush."

"If they had piña colada or mimosa flavored pops, they'd make a killing. Tell me I'm wrong."

"Well, okay I can't. I'd buy one."

"Thank you. I know a lot about four things, and three of them are: making money, alcohol, and science. Marketing mixed drinks combines those three."

"What's the fourth one?"

Smirking as they reach the cart, Lena says, "Get your popsicle, Arias."

Ruby ends up getting a vanilla ice cream dipped in a hard strawberry shell. Sam gets a cherry popsicle, and Lena a lemon ice cup.

"Hey, eat that fast and don't make a mess!"

Ruby nods back at her mom, her lips wrapped around her ice cream as she takes off back toward one of the animal enclosures.

"She's going to make a mess," Lena says, her phone in her hand as she takes pictures of Ruby.

"Kids are washable." Sam shrugs. "She just has to be happy and be a kid while she still is one." As Lena studies her, the younger woman's expression inscrutable, she asks, "What is it?"

"I wish you were my mom."

"Hey! I am not that much older than you." Sam laughs. "I was a young mom but not that young."

"I know. I just mean, Lillian never treated us like that. She was always so worried about appearances, more worried about them than our happiness. You're a good mom, Sam, a great mom. Ruby doesn't appreciate how good she has it, but I can appreciate it for her."

A little piece of Sam seems to melt faster than the popsicle in her mouth. "Thank you, but you turned out okay. You know that, right?"

"Despite my mother's best intentions, sure." Holding up her phone, Lena takes a few pictures of Sam.

"What are you doing now?"

"Trying to get you a date. Ruby's amazing mom deserves some happiness too."

Sam frowns. "What are you going to do with that picture?"

Lena shrugs. "Just put it up on my Insta."

"Let me see it first."

Lena turns the phone for Sam to examine the photo. In it, she is smiling, the popsicle in her mouth and the slight breeze blowing her brown hair.

"Okay, that's cute."

"Cute?" Lena shakes her head. "Sam, if I post this, this will get you dozens of proposals most of them indecent."

"Oh, it's not that bad."

"You've been stuck on mom duty for too long." Lena selects the picture she wants, adding a caption to the Instagram post.

Sam leans in closer. "What does that say?"

Smirking, Lena holds up the phone again. **_'For the FBI Agent that's reading this, she's single.'_**

"What that supposed to mean?"

"It's a joke… mostly. I'm a Luthor, and between my brother's and my mother's activities, the government monitors me very closely. I'm not doing anything wrong, and it used to bother me endlessly that my own government was spying on me, but now I've decided to just have fun with it."

"Lena, the FBI isn't really watching you."

Lena just quips an eyebrow, dropping her phone into her pocket as she peels the top off her lemon ice and drops the lid into the trash.

"You're serious about this."

"Serious like a heart attack."

Sam sucks on her quickly melting frozen treat some more, wiping red drips from her hand with a napkin. "Well, I think you're nuts. The government has better things to do with their time than look at your Facebook posts."

"Instagram."

"Oh, that's entirely different." Sam rolls her eyes.

"Sam, I know all about espionage on the corporate level. I'm being monitored, and it isn't by another company. It's coming from inside this country. I'm telling you, it's the FBI."

"And I'm telling you, you're being paranoid."

"Paranoia doesn't mean that people aren't out to get you."

"Look, Lena—"

"Your daughter has ice cream in her hair." Lena points.

"What?" With a sigh, Sam takes several long strides toward the next animal enclosure. "Hold on, Ruby. I have napkins."

Somewhere, in a facility in an undisclosed location under National City, sits a government agent going through the routine of their daily tasks. Elbow on the desk and hand under their chin, they yawn. They read page after page of information before clicking through to photos.

"Sleeping hippos, sleeping lions, sleeping cheetahs, sleeping lemurs… I'm beginning to see a trend here. Sleeping hyenas, oh, the otters are awake. Hello, otters. Sleeping—" Sitting bolt upright, the agent is suddenly alert. "Jesus H. Christ. Hello."

On break, Agent Alex Danvers refills their coffee, catching Agent Zorel's eye as she does the same. The other agent hovers nearby, taking extra time to add cream and stir until they are alone.

"What's up?" Kara asks in hushed tones.

"She's trying to kill me," Alex whispers back.

Kara furrows her brow. "Who's trying to kill you?"

"Whoever it is they have me monitoring. You know those pictures she keeps," Alex swallows hard, "tagging?"

"To you?" Kara nods. "There was a new one?"

"She added a friend."

Kara leans closer to say something just as someone else comes into the breakroom, instead choosing to reach across and grab some napkins.

"My desk, five minutes," Alex whispers.

Kara nods once as Alex leaves.

Five minutes later, a pile of papers in her hand, Kara stops by Alex's desk. "Agent Danvers, I have a few things that require your signature."

"Of course, Agent Zorel. Let me see them."

Kara slides into Alex's cube, handing over the pile of nothing relevant and looking around while Alex surreptitiously clicks something on her computer to open the picture in question.

Wide-eyed, Kara leans in and stares at the picture of Sam. She takes off her glasses and stares some more. She cleans her glasses, replaces them, and keeps staring the whole time.

When it becomes clear Kara isn't going to look away on her own, Alex closes the picture. "Killing. Me."

"Yeah, but what a way to go." A hand on Alex's shoulder, Kara smiles down at her friend. "The highlight of my day is when my tinfoil hat guy puts tinfoil hats on his dogs. He even makes little tinfoil ear covers for them. Now that's dedication."

"Yeah, your guy is nuts. He's a first-class conspiracy theorist and UFO believer. I'm sure he believes in Area 51."

"Heh, yeah, nuts." Kara rubs the back of her neck as she looks away.

"My lady, she seems completely harmless, brilliant but harmless. We should just hire her if we want whatever it is she's doing."

"Maybe we tried, and she's refused to play ball. Maybe she has some family ties to another country you don't know about. Hey, maybe there's something particularly dangerous about that picture of the piece of popcorn that fell between her… what did you call them?"

One hand held out in front of them palm up, Alex rotates slightly in their chair and smiles as they say, "Huge tracks of land."

"Yeah, those. Alex, I really think those required further investigation on a federal level. I've got a badge and am willing to take on that covert mission. You know, under the covers and all."

Leaning back in their chair, Alex takes their stress ball and tosses it up in the air, catching and throwing it again as they speak. "I don't know. That looked like a dangerous assignment."

Kara snaps to attention and salutes. "Agent Zorel, reporting for duty."

Alex sits up. With the back of their hand, Alex slaps the other agent in the gut and they both laugh. "Goofball. Seriously, though, the heat outside is bad enough. What am I supposed to do with the level of heat this lady is sending my way?"

"Well, I have a couple of ideas." Kara grins. "I'll trade you for tinfoil dog-hat guy."

"In your dreams."

"I think this is more about your dreams. How are they doing? You have any—" Kara holds up a finger, her eyes going left and right. "I gotta go. Snapper's in the area."

Alex leans way-back in her chair, just the top of their head to their eyes sticking out of the cube as they look left and right down an empty aisle. They sit upright again. "How do you always know? I don't see him anywhere."

"And yet his ugly mug will appear any minute." Kara grabs back her pile of papers. "This is the Kara Zorel survival system. My flight mechanism is a finely tuned machine. Hey, ping me if you get any more pics of popsicle girl. I'll come up with an excuse to swing by your way. Later." With that, Kara steps into the aisle turns left and quickly disappears from sight.

About two minutes later, Snapper steps into Alex's cube, a sour expression on his face. "Danvers, have you seen Zorel? I have something I want her to do."

"No, Sir," Alex replies as they rise to their feet. "Have you looked in the break room? They have doughnuts in there. You know how Zorel feels about doughnuts."

Snapper narrows his eyes, harumphs, and leaves.

Alex waits a few seconds and then makes sure he's gone. When they see him at the far end of the aisle, Alex pulls out their phone and sends a text.

Alex: "Snapper's looking for u. He's got a job for u. Watch out."

Seconds later, there's a response.

Kara: "Noted. Thanks."

Alex: "I still don't know how u do it."

Kara: "I'm a lover not a fighter ba-be!"


	2. Chapter 2 - Sky Cow

The heatwave in National City continues. It's early in the afternoon, the sun high in the sky and baking everyone below. There are spots of man-made cool, each an oasis from the oppressive heat. Ruby, Sam, and Lena are enjoying one right now.

Feet making footprints of moisture that quickly fade to nothingness, Ruby pads along the pool exterior in her backyard. She grabs the towel off the back of a chair, rubbing water from her face and hands before picking up the phone on the table. "Can I use your phone?"

In a black bathing suit, wearing a white cover-up, with a broad-brimmed hat on her head, huddled under the table umbrella least a stray ray of sunlight touch her skin, Lena pulls her sunglasses down her nose. She looks away from the tablet in her hand as she meets Ruby's gaze. "What's wrong with your phone?"

"Mom won't let me take it out by the pool." The girl shrugs.

"And I'm supposed to let you use my phone by the pool?"

"Oh, come on, Aunt Lena. Nothing bad has ever happened to my phone. My mom is just overprotective. Anyway, it's not like I want to take yours swimming or something. I just want to play some games on it. I'm getting waterlogged. I need a break. Plus, if your phone leaps like twenty feet from my hand into the pool, you have a stupid expensive waterproof case, don't you?"

"Fine." Lena holds out a hand. "If this ends up in the pool, I'm throwing you in after it."

Smiling, Ruby hands over the phone to unlock. "I don't think you can pick me up anymore. I'm nearly as big as you, you know."

"That's because your mom is part giraffe. You have giraffe genes. That's why you're comfortable in this Serengeti heat."

Ruby's smile never fades as she takes back the phone and starts up an app. "Sky cows are cool."

Looking up from her tablet and sliding her glasses down her nose again, Lena says, "I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

"I said sky cows are cool."

"Sky cows."

Ruby nods.

"Are you calling giraffes, sky cows?"

Ruby's smile grows as she puts down the phone, gesturing with her hands to aid in her explanation. "Yeah, 'cause they're like cows. They have patchy spots like them, they eat green stuff like them, but they have these loooong necks that reach up into the sky. You know, sky cows."

After a few seconds of staring at the child, Lena pushes her sunglasses back up and waves at Ruby with the back of one hand. "Just play your game. I'm not interacting with that version of logic."

Smile growing, Ruby picks up the phone again. "That just means I'm right."

"It most certainly does not."

"Yes, it does."

"No, it doesn't."

"Yes, it does."

"Does not."

"Does too."

"Does not."

"Does too."

The glass slider door open in her hand and a tray of food to be grilled in the other, Sam stands there in a white bikini, eyes wide at the bickering. "Children. Children!" When her only response is silence, she nods. "Thank you. I leave you two alone for five minutes and—"

"Does not," Lena mutters quickly before turning her back on Ruby and slouching in the chair, the tablet in front of her face.

For her part, Ruby gasps and holds a hand out toward Lena while staring at her mother.

Sam strolls over to the grill, which is heated, and opens it. She places the plate on the side. "Be grown up about it and let it go, Rubes."

"But I'm twelve. She is literally twice my age."

"I know sweetie, but sometimes…" Sam turns just in time to see Lena turn from sticking a tongue out at her daughter. Sam sighs, shaking her head with a small smile on her face. "Sometimes, Ruby, you have to know when to fight your battles and when to walk away."

"Live to fight another day?"

"This might be a 'let the Wookie win' issue. Just let it go, okay? Now, who wants cheese on their burger?"

"Can I have cheese on my hot dogs?" Ruby asks.

"Always," Sam replies. "I'll char them for you, so they're crispy on the outside."

"Thank, Mom."

Sam smiles at her daughter then does a double-take. "Hey, is that your phone?"

"No, it's Aunt Lena's. She said I could."

"By the pool?" Sam raises her eyebrows.

"I'm not near the water, Mom. My butt is stuck in this chair." As if to demonstrate, she attempts to lift from the chair, grunting as if she's glued down. "See?"

"Okay, it's Lena's phone's funeral."

"She told me she's never lost a phone into the pool." Lena looks between mother and daughter, a crease appearing between her brows.

"There's a first time for everything. She hasn't stabbed herself or anyone else either, but I don't let her run with scissors."

Smiling, Lena settles back to her tablet. "Well, what fun are you, Mom? Ruby, next time I come over I'll bring some scissors. You can run around the pool and play with those."

"Thanks, fun Aunt Lena."

Closing the grill, Sam shakes her head. "I shouldn't have left the two of you outside without a responsible adult. Lena, are you still working?" Sam asks as she heads over to the pool.

"What? No." Lena sits up again, tapping on her tablet. "I'm uh… I'm relaxing."

Sam snorts as she crouches down and runs her hand through the water. "Well, that's BS. Unless you have a glass of wine in your hand, you're not relaxing. You're tenser than piano wire."

"I'll have you know I happen to be very relaxed right now." Lena's smirking, her tablet pointed in Sam's direction as she pokes at it. "I'm just sitting here and having a lovely afternoon with my favorite niece."

Sam slowly stands, shaking water from her hand that hangs low over the pool before she rights herself. "Why don't I believe you?"

"It must be your skeptical nature."

"Did you take a picture of my mom's butt?" Ruby asks, clearly scandalized.

"Shhh!" Lena twists, glaring at the child.

"Why would you do that? Who wants to see my mom's butt?"

Lena's gaze shifts between a smirking Sam and her bug-eyed daughter. Rather than answer the question, Lena says, "Give me back my phone you traitor."

Ruby pouts but puts the phone in Lena's outstretched hand. She stands, stalking off, but as she does she says, "Mom's right, not getting some is making you grouchy… some of what I don't know, but you need it."

Lena doesn't respond for obvious reason, instead typing away on her tablet.

Sitting in Ruby's vacated chair, Sam elbows Lena. "Did you take a picture of my butt?"

"Oh, get over yourself, Arias." Lena rolls her eyes. "I took a few rather flattering pictures of you from behind but not for my own purposes. I can see you any day I want."

"Gee, thanks. You really know how to sweet talk a girl. Maybe that's why you aren't getting some… whatever some is."

"I can't believe you told her that." Lena's voice comes out in a hiss as she swats at Sam's arm.

Sam pulls back her arm, giggling, and picks up her iced tea, which is now all tea and no ice, from the table. "I didn't tell her that. She must have overheard me talking to you. It's true though. You know that it's true."

"I know. I know. It's been so long since I've gotten laid, I'm going deaf in my right eye."

Mid-sip of tea, Sam chokes and sputters, splatters of tea hitting Lena on the side of the face.

"Ugh. Really, Sam?"

"Cough, cough… Oh, my God." Sam laughs again, eyes watering. "It's your own... cough, cough… God damn fault."

Placing the tablet on the table, Lena stands and grabs paper towels from the roll on the table, wiping at her face. "How in the bloody hell is this my fault?"

"You know… cough… what you said!" Sam points, accusing, but she still smiles.

"I'm sorry, what?" Lena pulls off her sunglasses, leaning down. "Could you say that again into my good eye?"

"Oh, God." Sam giggles, coughing again while she waves a hand in feeble defense at her friend. "You bitch."

"Well, I am a Luthor." Smirking, Lena heads to the trash can and throws out her paper towel. She stops by the grill. "Want me to flip things for you?"

"You'll have to. I'm still clearing liquid from my lungs." Sam taps at her chest with a fist.

Lena checks their food, flipping burgers and hot dogs. "Are you expecting guests? You have enough food here to feed an army."

"You sure you can hear me over there, winky?"

Lena turns her head, pushing her glasses up with just her middle finger as she looks over her shoulder at Sam.

"Awww, you're number one too."

Lena finishes flipping food and closes the cover to the grill. "I still think you and your offspring must each have a hollow leg. There's no other explanation for you eating as much as you do and being this thin."

"Didn't you know? We're aliens." Sam grins and stretches out in her chair, throwing back her head and letting the rays of the sun beat down on her.

"Now you sound like my crazy brother."

"Hey, Aunt Lena?" Ruby calls from the pool.

Lena wanders closer to the girl. "What is it, little sky cow?"

Tipping her head up, Sam asks, "Did you just call my daughter a cow?"

"No, not a cow." Lena turns to Sam. "I called her a sky cow because—"

As the blast of cold water hits Lena, words fail her. She puts her hands in front of her, but the assault continues. Ruby pumps and pumps the water gun (water shotgun) from the pool, the tube from it hanging down directly into the vast wealth of liquid below. As Ruby laughs with glee and repeats the word revenge, again and again, her mother sits bolt upright and stares slack-jawed but can do nothing else for several seconds.

"Oh, my God, Ruby, stop, stop!"

Still smiling, Ruby sinks low in the water, weapon in hands but her assault stilled at her mother's words.

"Lena are you…" Sam can't keep from grinning. "You're soaking wet."

"You think?" Lena shakes her arm, flipping water in a long arc as she pulls off her glasses. "Well, at least I'm wearing my swimsuit."

Grabbing Lena's tablet, Sam unlocks it and snaps several photos. "I'm posting these."

"Oh, don't you dare."

Sam chuckles. "No, these are perfect. Oh, this one." She types quickly. "Yes, this is exactly what you need."

"Samantha, what did you do?" Lena stalks over, staring at her tablet. "Oh, you posted **that** to my Instagram?"

Leaning back in the chair, Sam shrugs. "I only write the truth."

Whistling, Kara walks into her cubicle and puts her drink on her desk. She's about to sit when she pauses, her gaze skimming the surface of her desk. One of her Funkos is out of place. Her Kaylee from Firefly has been moved to the opposite side of her monitor, and the little figure's back is turned to Kara. It doesn't just mean someone's been to her desk. It's a signal. Leaving her drink on the desktop, she sticks her head out of her cubicle, looks left and right, and then turns right as she leaves.

"Hey."

Alex turns at the sound of Kara's voice, smiling.

"I got your message." Kara grins. "What's up?"

"You've got to see this." Alex pushes past Kara to check the aisle before dropping back into their seat again. "It's a pool day."

"Yeah, it's supposed to be a blazer out there today."

"No, I mean my lady, she's at the pool, and her popsicle friend is there with her."

"Oh." Kara slides onto a half-seat on Alex's desk, her full attention on the screen as the other agent types. "Does she have another popsicle?"

"Better."

"Seriously?"

Alex nods but doesn't break their typing stride. "Look what was posted to Insta."

A few more keystrokes brings up a picture of a brunette. She's tan and wearing a white bikini. Caught mid-motion standing up from the side of the pool, her legs are long and lean, curved and showing off her taut muscles. Her suit rises high over her hips onto her lower torso, but it has horizontal slits, at least on the viewable side, up the whole hip that are several inches wide. The top is tied in the back, a thick wrap-around piece, and is kept from being strapless by one thin spaghetti strap that loops around her neck and peeks out from under her hair. There is plenty of leg, arm, abdomen, and side-boob showing. Kara gawks. Alex, who seen the image once or twice (okay, more than that) before, joins her. The caption reads, **_'FBI Agent, is it hot out here, or is it just her?'_**

"Better than the popsicle pic?" Alex eventually asks.

Kara just nods a lot. After a few more moments of silence and staring, Kara says, "Tinfoil hat guy got a bird."

"Don't tell me he—" Kara is looking at them with so much hatred, that Alex can't finish that sentence. "Sorry."

"You get to look at her, and you come to me with sorry?" Kara crosses her arms. "Nuh-uh."

"Oh, hey. Maybe this will help. There's another picture."

"Of popsicle girl?" Kara's head snaps right as she looks at the screen, earlier attitude forgotten.

"Nope, my lady. It's an, uh, impressive photo of her too. I know you're a fan of hers. I bet you'll like it."

With one click, Alex brings up the next photo. The woman is wearing a hat, a white shirt that hangs to about mid-thigh and is soaking wet, and a black bathing suit. The shirt is plastered to her curves, and her curves are plentiful. Low on one breast is a tattoo that, though not clear, is somewhat visible. There is another one winding its way up her outer thigh.

Kara gasps, a high-pitched squeaky noise no human should be capable of making. Her mouth hangs open, a look on her face that says though she's silent, she may still be communicating with bats and dolphins.

"What the hell kind of noise was that?" Alex asks as they look up at the other agent. "You sounded like a Chihuahua getting punted by the nuts."

Kara slides off the desk to stand, both hands leaning fingers-splayed on the desk as she moves closer to the monitor. "Look at her… her…"

"Boobs?" Alex suggests.

"Eyes."

"Oh, yeah. They're really pretty."

"Pretty?" Kara scoffs. "That's like saying the Chauvet cave paintings are nice doodles or the Taj Mahal will keep the rain off your head." Kara takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "She's magnificent."

"O-kay. Look, I'm just going to take the artwork down before anyone—"

"Wait!"

Alex is about to close the photo down when Kara pushes their chair away. Alex's chair surges back, off the runner underneath, hits the carpeting in the cubicle which slows its retreat, and nearly flips them over backward. Alex has to grab the wall of their cube to keep from ending up on the floor.

"There's something else in this photo." Kara is crouched down in front of Alex's monitor, clicking on the photo and enlarging it.

"You can't touch my computer," Alex whispers and hurries back to the system, trying but failing to shove Kara out of the way. "Damn it, Zorel, we'd both get in so much shit if anyone else saw you on my computer. Quit it."

"Look at that, look."

"What?" Alex is crouched down, inspecting where Kara is pointing.

Kara smiles back at Alex. "Her navel is pierced."

Mouth an angry line, Alex grabs their stress ball from the desk and bounces it off Kara's head. "You suck. I thought you found something I could turn into Snapper, some reason I was spying on this lady. You are officially no longer my best friend. Get your ass out of my cube."

"But, Alex—"

Alex points. "Get."

Hands in her pocket, Kara slouches and pouts as she makes her way out of the cubicle. Just in the aisle, she turns. "Hey, want to see a picture of a bird wearing a tinfoil hat?"

"Get out!"

"Jeez, all right, all right." Kara turns heading down the aisle, but seconds later she sticks her head around the cube wall again. "It's a cockatiel, and he made it a little tinfoil crest so that—"

"I'm gonna kick your ass!" Alex gives chase for three cubes, other agents looking on curious, but Agent Zorel is now long gone.


	3. Chapter 3 - Hottie McTonguePiercing

"So, I've been thinking."

Lena quirks an eyebrow. "Well, that's never good."

"Cute." Sam sits on the corner of the desk, ignoring the empty chair on the other side of Lena's desk and the look of annoyance her boss shoots her. "You're sending the wrong message to your FBI handler."

"FBI handler?" Smirking, Lena leans back in her chair, arms crossed. "Go on."

"Whatever you want to call him, assuming you are being spied on—"

"I am."

"Well, assuming that you are, you're giving him the wrong message."

"Oh, and what message is that?"

"Lena, you and I both know there is no way that you'd date some guy from the FBI." Sam sighs a bit as she stands and walks around the room. "All of the boob shots, t-shirts with just underwear in bed, your propensity for black bras and white shirts in pictures," Sam shakes her head, "it's a tease."

"It's given me a better social media image than Lex's Porsche wrapped around a telephone pole ever gave him."

"Your work at the children's hospital and the woman's shelter did that. Your brother was a reckless, xenophobic, madmen who thought the planet was going to be invaded by little green men and spent millions of shareholder dollars to prepare for it. You are a kind and generous person who is digging this company out of the hole your brother created and saving jobs."

Lena tilts forward, pointing at Sam. "Not without the help of my brilliant CFO who discovered the misspending in the first place and was brave enough to go public with it."

"With your backing."

"Team effort."

Sam nods. "Team effort. Anywho, I think you should stop it with those FBI pics."

"But their so much fun." Lena pouts.

"Oh, put that lip away, missy. I don't let Ruby get away with it, and I'm not letting you do it either. I may not be your mother, but I will not be a party to emotional blackmail."

"Fine." Leaning back in her chair again, Lena holds both of her hands, palm up. "So, my fun has come to an end, no more FBI pics?"

"That's not what I said."

Sitting upright, Lena frowns. "But you said—"

"I said no more of **those** FBI pics. If you want to post something, do it the Lena Luthor way. Be honest."

Still frowning, Lena nods. "Go on."

"Go ahead and post whatever pics you want and even tag them to the FBI, but you know who you are. You're not ashamed of who you are, are you?"

"You mean a Luthor? Well, kind of."

Scowling, Sam waves a hand in Lena's general direction. "Enough with the Luthor thing. Who cares about that? I mean who you really are is not the last name on your birth certificate."

"Actually that name is," At the look on Sam's face, Lena says, "not the point. Go on."

"Thank you. So, keep posting whatever pictures help you to have fun with your whole FBI monitor thing, but do it honestly."

"And how do you suggest I do that?"

"I don't know. How about you post something like this?" Sam strikes a pose for Lena.

Sputtering slightly, Lena rises from her chair. "You want me to do that and post it online to social media?"

"It's no worse than anything else you've posted."

"Well, it's rather… It's clear, Sam."

"Was there something secretive before?"

"Nothing denied but not confirmed. This would basically be confirmation."

"And is that a bad thing?"

"My mother would probably be apoplectic." Lena sits again, concentrating while she bites the pad of her thumb.

"And would that be a bad thing?"

Eyebrow slowly rising, Lena says, "No."

"So?"

"I'd have to pass it through the PR department. They'll be fielding a lot of questions, and they need to be prepared to answer them on my behalf."

Sam nods. "Are you comfortable with that?"

"Am I comfortable with myself, is the real question." Lena nods once. "Yes. It's just…"

"You're not alone, you know."

"I would be in this."

"Hey." Reaching across the desk, Sam squeezes Lena's hand. "We're family. You're not alone. I'll even take the picture with you if you want."

"Thanks, but just being in the picture won't be the same as—"

"No, I mean I'll do it too. It won't be just you. It won't be anywhere as big a deal for PR, but you know." Smiling, Sam shrugs.

Grabbing Sam's hand that has hers, Lena says, "What about Ruby?"

"Oh, Ruby is not going to be in this little family photo," Sam replies with a laugh.

"Not that. I mean, won't she find out that…" Lena raises her brows.

"Ruby knows."

"She does?"

Sam nods. "She was probably five or six when we had that talk. She asked one question about it, then asked what was for dessert. Kids literally don't give a flying fuck."

"Right, unlike adults."

"Hatred and intolerance aren't natural, they're inherited, taught." Sam rises, walks around the desks and holds out her hands to Lena. "So, are we doing this?"

"We're doing this." Lena gets up and hugs Sam. "Thanks for being my family. The first one I got was abysmal. Well, I guess they were technically the second one. You're amazing."

"Which is why we get the chance to choose ours in this life." Sam holds Lena close. "Thanks for being Ruby and my family too. If I didn't think of you as halfway between a daughter and a sister, I'd totally want to do you."

"Oh, my God." Lena snorts, pushing Sam away. "You are an awful human being, Sam Arias."

"I thought I was amazing."

"Yes, but I'm a Luthor. I have awful taste."

Grinning, Sam said, "So, how about we take this pic before you chicken out?"

"Fine, but this is going to PR before it goes anywhere else. They get the final say on whether or not it gets released."

"Just grab your phone and quit stalling." When Lena did, Sam leaned in close for the picture. "Now smile and say—"

"Don't. Keep it clean, Arias, keep it clean."

With an eye-roll, Sam said, "Cheesecake." Then she struck the same pose from before.

Posing with her, Lena snapped several pics.

They looked at them together.

"Well, what do you think?" Sam asked.

Lena sighed, picking one and sending it off to the head of her PR department. "I think I should see when the VP of PR is up for review because we are going to hear about this."

Running full steam down the aisle at work, Senior Special Agent Alex Danvers cuts the corner sharply. Head after head pops out of a cubicle at their passing. Alex doesn't slow down until they reach Kara's cubicle. Alex bounces off of the edge of the wall of the cubicle as they slow, making a startled Kara spin in her chair. Grabbing Kara by the lapels and pulling, Alex stares wide-eyed, nodding (panting) several times, before dropping Kara back to her seat and turning and running back the way they came. Obviously confused, Kara gets up and looks down the aisle in time to see Alex, who is running again, disappear around a corner.

"Am I supposed to follow or…" Locking her system, Kara heads down to Alex's cubicle at a much more leisurely pace. There she finds Alex sitting in their chair, Alex's back to the other agent. "Alex?"

"Kara!" Alex spins in their chair, leaping to their feet and checking the aisle before dropping back into the chair and typing. Looking up at Kara, Alex says, "You might want to sit down."

"Okay, you're freaking me out. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's…" Eyes closed, they swallow hard. "There's a new picture. You should sit down."

"It's sit down worthy?"

Alex nods quickly.

"You could have texted me, you know. You running down to my cubicle, Alex, people noticed that."

"I know. I know, but this changes things. Just," Alex gestures toward their desk, "sit and look, okay?"

"Sure." Kara shrugs, sitting so that half her butt is on Alex's desk. She grabs one of Alex's stress balls, squeezing it. "Nothing is wrong though?"

"Not wrong but I'm losing my shit, Kara."

"Just show me."

"You need to be ready. This is major."

"I'm ready. I survived the swimsuit pics. I'll be fine." When Alex moves to click, Kara grabs their hand. "Wait. Are they naked? Are they naked together? Can you even post something like that to social media? Aren't there like rules and—"

"Kara, they're both fully clothed."

"Oh," Kara lets go of Alex's hand, "whatever then. You got me all worked up for nothing. Just click on it already."

Alex clicks.

Kara falls off the desk.

The picture is of Sam and Lena together, a selfie. Both of their tongues are stuck out. That would be bad enough, but their tongues are between the Vs they've made of their fingers. The caption reads, **_'Just to be clear, Mr. FBI monitor, you're not my type, though my friend says she only sees the person and not the body.'_**

"Do you see what I see?" Alex asks.

Kara pulls herself up from the floor. "Yeah, her navel isn't the only thing that's pierced. Alex, I love you like a sibling," Kara squeezes Alex's shoulder, "but who gets your cases if something unfortunate happens to you?"

"Murdering me won't help you. You can't date your own subject." Alex looks at Kara and raises their eyebrows. "But you can date her possibly pansexual popsicle eating friend."

"You want me to kill you and date the popsicle-eating friend?"

"No," Alex pushes Kara's shoulder, barely moving the other agent, "me, you idiot."

"You want me to date you?" Kara shrugs. "Weird but it's better than killing you."

"Jesus Christ." Alex drops into their chair and slumps down, their head in their hands. After a few moments, Alex looks up at Kara again. "I do your evaluations. I've seen your IQ test results. How can you be so dumb sometimes?"

Kara smiles. "It's part of my charm. So, who am I dating, who am I killing, and what does it have to do with the hottie with the popsicle? Wait, is this like a 'fuck, marry, kill' thing? If it's you and those two, I think you're still dead, Alex."

Alex sighs heavily, seemingly gathering their inner strength before they continue. "Okay, I'll say this slowly so even you can follow. Since we can't date our own subjects, I can't date the woman who keeps posting these pics and calling me out. However, I can date her hot friend who likes popsicles which means you could date—"

"Oh, oh, I know this! The woman with the tattoos on her," Kara points to her torso and her leg, "and the piercings in her," she points at her torso and then her tongue. "Yes, yes, Alex, yes!" Kara grabs Alex by the shoulders, shaking them.

"Shhhh. Keep it down. Someone will hear you."

"Me? You just raced across half of the FBI building. I think we're beyond 'keep it down', Alex." Kara rubs her hands together. "Okay, so what's the plan? How are we doing this?"

Drawing in another deep breath, Alex clicks and brings up a folder filled with other folders. "Okay, so here's the amazing news, and I'm sure they do this in case we ever need to be sent after our subjects, she's local."

"No way!"

"Again, shhh." Alex gets up and checks outside of their cubicle, but no one is in the aisle. They take their seat again. "I know I screwed up before, but you need to find your chill, Kara. If Snapper catches us—"

"He's not around."

Alex stares at Kara for several moments and then nods. "Fine. So, as I was saying, based on my subject's posts, I was able to see many of her locations. I've got several across the globe, but I was able to locate some in San Diego and National City. No one comes to National City unless they live or work in or around this area, right?"

Kara nods slowly. "Agreed. So she's local. You get some repeat locations from her image posts?"

"I did." Alex clicks on one folder. "These, though not overly eye-popping, all come from a local eatery called Noonans." They click on another folder of pictures. "These all come from a place called Cyber Caffeine Cafe which is a coffee shop and cybercafe in National City." Opening a third folder, Alex says, "These are from the University of San Diego."

Kara leans in closer. "Is she a teacher? That equation she's in front of is the standard model Lagrangian. Except for gravity, it describes all elementary forces and particles observed on this planet."

Arms folded, Alex leans back in their chair. "Really, all of them?"

Kara nods. "Even the Higgs boson." Kara clicks on another photo. "Wow, that's the minimal surface equation. It's beautiful, isn't it?" Kara smiles, gently touching the screen. "It's nonlinear involving powers and products of derivatives."

"Aha." Closing the folder, Alex says, "This is when your IQ tests make sense. How can you be a genius and an idiot at the same time?"

Smiling, Kara shrugs. "I told you. It's part of my charm. So, Hottie McTonguePiercing lives around here and might teach in San Diego. I can work with this."

"What are you thinking?"

"That I have a hankering for a sandwich, a cup of java, and the urge to audit some math and science classes over in San Diego." She winks at Alex. "Wish me luck."

"Hey, if you meet her—"

"We'll see where things go, but I'm looking to see if she has a friend for my sib from another crib." Kara holds out her fist and bumps it against Alex's. "No worries, Alex. You've sent me on a path to make a real-life introduction to this goddess. You will not be forgotten."

"I better not be." Alex grunts, grabbing Kara by the arm as she tries to walk past them. "Because if I am, as your supervisor, I will find something alarming about tinfoil dog-hat guy, and I will assign you to take up residence in his old trailer park, full-time, and make contact with him. You and he will become best buddies."

"Yeesh." Kara recoils. "How do you know he lives in an old trailer park?"

"Kara, I'm a senior special agent in the FBI. I've been doing this for a long time. This guy makes tinfoil hats for dogs. Of course, he lives in an old trailer park."

Kara nods. "Valid."


	4. 4 - Pants - Two Creams One Sugar

Sitting in the Cyber Caffeine Cafe, Kara takes a sip from her coffee and another bite of her cinnamon roll. She looks up as the door opens, the jingling of the chimes getting her attention, but quickly looks away as the man in the hat walking in doesn't hold her attention. She checks the time on her phone, then shoots Alex a text.

Zorel: "It's 1:47 PM. I'm at the cafe. How much longer should I wait around before I give up here?"

Little bubbles appear about a minute later.

Danvers: "The latest picture I have is time-stamped 2:02 PM from that location."

Danvers: "That last science class was a bust?"

Zorel: "It was interesting but Hottie McTonguepiercing's real name is not Dr. Lichtenstein."

Zorel: "I'm almost glad, though she can take my name when we get married."

Danvers: "Ur getting married and she's taking ur name?"

Zorel: "The poor girl has been going through life with the name of Hottie McTonguepiercing."

Zorel: "The last name of Zorel may save her from carpal tunnel."

Danvers: "Ur a true American hero, Zorel."

Kara laughs, not looking up at first when the bell from the door jingles.

Zorel: "Thank you. I expect to see that on my next review."

Zorel: "Agent Zorel saving the bodies of hot women wherever they need saving."

Danvers: "Haha! Ur an idiot."

Before she can reply, Kara looks up and notices the brunette standing in line. There are only two people in front of the new customer, one being waited on and one being the man in the hat that had just come in. As Kara stares, wide-eyed and mouth agape, the man moves forward and is waited on. Blinking out of her haze filled with a jawline you can cut yourself on, Kara fumbles slightly with her phone before sending a text.

Zorel: "She's here!"

Danvers: "Ur sure it's her?"

Zorel: "Yes. The dirty thought center of my brain is very familiar with what this woman looks like."

Zorel: "I'm going to make contact. Wish me luck."

Danvers: "Luck."

Shoving the last of her cinnamon roll into her mouth and chewing and swallowing quickly, Kara pulls the lid off her coffee so she can finish it in record time. She wipes her mouth, throwing her empty into the trash. Then, tossing a breath mint into her mouth, she neatly steps behind Lena before anyone else can enter the cafe. Lena moves up to the counter, placing her order of a black coffee and plain croissant before moving off to the side and returning her attention to her phone.

When it's her turn, Kara says, "Large caramel latte with extra sugar and a cinnamon roll."

"Sweetie, at this point you can pretty much ask for your usual," the woman says as she grabs a cup, writing something on it and walking away.

Kara moves off to the side to stand near Lena and smiles down at the shorter woman.

Lena raises one brow, giving Kara an appraising look. "Not enough sugar in the regular caramel latte for you?"

Kara shrugs, leaning on the counter and a bit closer to Lena. "What can I say? I'm an extra sweet kind of girl."

Shaking her head, Lena returns her attention to her phone.

"Kara," she says, standing upright and holding out her hand.

"Oh, um." Lena slides her phone into her left hand and shakes Kara's hand. "Lena."

"Lena," Kara says as she smiles and shakes Lena's hand. "That's a beautiful name. You don't hear that name a lot."

"I actually hear it quite often."

"Ha! Funny and beautiful." Kara reddens slightly, rubbing the back of her neck. "Okay, that sucked. Sorry."

"That you called me funny or that you called me beautiful?"

Kara takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. "That I did them both awkwardly. You're obviously so much more and deserve not to be broken down into such a linear design."

"Linear." Lena smiles. "Well, I'm definitely not that."

"Yeah, me neither in case I was being subtle."

"No, subtly is not one of your strong points, Kara. However, your points for style are increasing. Excuse me." She steps by Kara, uttering a quiet thank you as she takes her coffee and food, smoothly shoving a $5 bill into the tip jar.

As Lena walks toward the tables, Kara follows. "Yeah, so maybe we could—"

"Hey, large caramel latte, extra sugar. Your order is up!"

"I… damn it." Kara hurries back to her food, cramming a few dollars in the tip jar as she grabs her food and looks around, locating Lena at a back table and hurrying after the woman. Kara takes the table next to Lena's. "Hey, I'm stalking you."

Lena quirks a brow and stares levelly at Kara. "Then you're not particularly good at it. Every stalker I've ever had has done their best not to be discovered."

"Ah, good tip." Kara pats at her jacket and then her pants pockets. "Darn it. I must have left my stalking notebook at home."

"Stalking notebook," Lena deadpans.

"Joke, that's a joke. I was making a joke because…" Kara sighs, sliding down in her chair before standing up. "Hey, I'm just going to leave now. I'll leave my food here for my identical twin sister to eat. Oddly, her name is also Kara, but she doesn't make stupid stalking jokes, so you don't have to hate her the minute she sits down. She's really quiet though. She won't bother you." Kara walks away a few feet and then comes back. "Oh, and she and I dress alike. I blame our parents. Same name, same clothes, lack of originality in our family."

This time, as Kara tries to walk away, Lena grabs her hand. "Kara—"

"Which one?"

Despite herself, a snicker escapes Lena's lips. "Please." She gestures toward the seat across from her and then stands, picking up Kara's food and drink and placing them at the seat across from herself. "If your sister shows up, she'll have to get her own food… and her own company."

Kara raises her eyebrows. "You're sure?"

"Oh, definitely. I've met a few twins in my day, even did a study on them."

"For?"

"Epigenetic therapy."

"Oh, you do cancer research," Kara said breaking off a piece of her cinnamon roll and tossing it into her mouth. "Are you involved with any of the new FDA approved epigenetic drugs for cancer treatment?"

Coffee cup frozen at her lips, Lena places it on the table. "Are you a researcher?"

"Me?" Kara smiles and shakes her head. "Nah, I just like to stay up on the current scientific breakthroughs. You know, I read a lot of white papers and journals."

"On what?"

Kara shrugs and takes a sip of her latte. "The usual: DNA methylation, histone modifications, nucleosome positioning, non-coding RNAs, and stuff like that." Kara rips off another piece of her cinnamon roll and shoves it in her mouth, speaking around it. "What do you like to read?"

Eyes narrowed, Lena stares at Kara for several moments. She runs her finger up and down the side of the cup while she carefully watches the other woman. "I read a fascinating study recently. It was about human cancer cells harboring global epigenetic abnormalities in addition to numerous genetic alterations."

"Oh, sure." Kara nods. "Those genetic and epigenetic alterations interact at all stages of cancer development working together to promote cancer progression."

"Aha!" Elbow on the table, Lena points at Kara, her mouth a tight line and her nostrils flared. "Who do you work for, is it Lord Industries?"

Kara leans away from the accusing digit. "Who?"

"Has Wayne Tech switched from recruiting tactics to corporate espionage?"

"Look, Lena—"

" **Or** are you some scummy business partner of my brother here on his behalf trying to make a score?"

"Who's your brother?"

"Hmmm." Lena stands, pulling the lid off her coffee and looming over Kara. "Well, now I know you're lying. Everyone knows who my brother is." Dumping her coffee on Kara's lap, Lena stalks off.

"Hey!" Kara jumps up, brushing hot coffee off her suit pants as she stares in shock at Lena's back before giving chase. She catches up to Lena outside the coffee shop and crosses in front of the other woman, stopping there. "What was that about?"

"As if you don't know."

"I have no idea! I realize I came on a little strong at first, but I thought we were having a nice conversation. If you wanted a topic change, there are better ways to get it than dumping a cup of coffee in someone's lap. This suit is dry clean only, you know."

"Send me the bill. I'm sure you know my address," Lena says before walking around Kara.

"No idea, lady, and at this point, I don't think I want your address. I thought you were beautiful and obviously really smart, but now I think you're just… mean." Grumbling, Kara turns on her heel and walks away.

Lena stays there for a few moments, worrying her lower lip with her teeth, before hurrying after Kara. "Kara, wait. Kara, wait a moment!" She catches up and grabs the other woman's wrist.

Spinning and obviously upset, Kara pulls her hand back. "What? Did you realize I like cream and sugar in my coffee, so you came to throw some of that on my pants?"

"I… I'm sorry." Hands raised, Lena takes a step back. "I thought you worked for…" She sighs.

"Yeah, you mentioned." Kara relaxes a bit, wiping at her pants with her hand. "Look, I don't work for any of those people, and I didn't even know your name before I spoke to you. No one sent me."

"God, I feel awful."

"You feel awful?" Kara smiles a little bit, letting out a small laugh. "At least no one dumped hot coffee in your lap."

"Oh, my God. Are you hurt?" Lena reaches out toward Kara's pants but withdraws her hand. "We should get you checked out at the hospital. You could have nasty burns on your… legs."

"Actually, the coffee wasn't all that hot."

"Are you sure because—"

"Hey, you hurt my pride but not me. Though I do prefer to drink rather than wear my coffee."

Groaning, Lena covers her face for a moment. "I will pay for your dry cleaning. I want to make this up to you."

"No, you don't… Well, there is one thing you could do."

"Name it."

Kara grins. "Have dinner with me."

Lena pauses then smiles slightly. "Are you sure you trust me around beverages?"

"Sure, but no coffee with dinner. I figure if I can make it to dessert, I'll be okay." Her smile grows. "Plus I won't wear anything that's dry clean only."

With a small chuckle, Lena nods. "Only if you let me pay. It's the least I can do after drenching you in hot coffee."

Kara's smile grows. "Tonight?"

"Eight o'clock?"

"Yeah, sure I… Oh, wait a minute. I've got plans with my friend Alex. I can't tonight unless," Kara's smile grows a bit wider, "you have a friend that might like Alex."

Lena grows pensive. "Tell me about Alex."

"Um, they're hardworking, fun, smart, and super pretty. Alex is the next best thing to me."

"Well, that's high praise indeed." Lena chuckles. "Let me talk to my friend Sam and see what she has to say. I don't know if she'll be available or interested—"

"Hey, no pressure." Kara raises her hands and takes a step back. "This is just a group of people getting together to eat, chat, and not dump hot liquids on each other."

"I really am terribly sorry about that. I will pay for your dry cleaning."

"Absolutely not. A little coffee in the lap in a small price to pay for the opportunity to get to know you." Kara smiles. "Plus, if this us thing works out, think of the great 'this is how we met' story we'll have to tell our friends."

"You do like to look on the bright side of things, don't you?"

Nodding as she still smiles, Kara holds out her hand. "Give me your phone."

"Why?" Lena asks, eyes squinting at Kara.

"So I can run off with it." Kara flexes her finger in and out. "Come on, just give me your phone. I'm gonna put my digits in it."

With a nod, Lena pulls out her phone, unlocks it, and hands it over to Kara. Tongue sticking out slightly, Kara carefully types into the phone. She hands the phone back to Lena. "Now you have to text me, so I have your digits too."

Smiling, Lena shoots off a quick text. "You're quite the charming optimist."

Kara pulls the phone out of her pocket, smiling at the greeting that was just texted to her. She adds Lena to her contacts. "I'm both of those things, and I'll be happy to prove it over dinner tonight."

"I still need to check with Sam—"

"She'll say yes," Kara says as she walks away backward. "I'm an optimist, so I'm sure of it."

"I'll text you! I'll text you again once I know for sure."

Kara waves, "See you tonight," and turns, whistling as she continues on her way.

Pulling out her phone, Lena pulls up her contacts and waits until the phone is picked up. "Sam, what are you doing tonight?"

 _"_ _Dinner with Rubes, I think. Why, am I working? Please tell me I'm not working."_

"You're not working, but you do need a babysitter. We have dates."

There's a long pause. _"I'm sorry, did you just say we have dates?"_

Lena's phone chirps from an incoming text, and Lena smiles at the picture of Alex that Kara has just sent. The redhead is wearing a suit and tie, arms crossed as she stares down intently at something on the ground. A generic building is the backdrop, but Alex looks good.

"Yes," Lena replies. "We have dates at 8 PM. I'm going to forward you a picture. You can thank me later."

 _"_ _Lena, what the hell—"_

Lena hangs up and forwards the photo over to Sam.

Lena: "This is Alex, your date."

About a minute later, as Lena makes her way back to L-Corp, she gets a text back.

Sam: "Thank you."

"So, how did it go?" Alex asks as Kara walks into their cube, the senior agent's gaze drawn to the dark stain on Kara's pants. "Uh, what happened?"

"Great," Kara replies with a bright smile as she slides onto a seat on Alex's desk. "She dumped hot coffee in my lap."

Alex blinks several times. "On purpose?"

"Oh, yeah," Kara replies with a chuckle. "She was pissed."

"Oh." Alex nods as they lean back in their chair a bit, enthusiasm waning. "Wow, I'm sorry, Kara. I hoped you two would hit it off."

"Yeah, it was a rough meeting but worth it." Kara grins. "I have a date with her tonight."

"Wait, what?" Alex sits upright, brows drawn together. "She dumped coffee on your lap because she was pissed, but she's going out with you?"

"Yup. I told you, being an idiot is part of my charm. The ladies love it."

"Huh, I guess so. Maybe I should be taking dating tips from you."

"Sure, I can show you a few things," Kara gets up and walks toward the exit from the cube before turning with a grin, "on our double date tonight?"

In a heartbeat, Alex is on their feet. "Popsicle girl?"

"Her name is Sam."

"Sam." Smiling, Alex slowly sits again. "Her name is Sam."

"I don't know if she's a coffee tosser, so wear something that's drip dry."

"Yeah, sure, uh-huh." Alex nods aimlessly before meeting Kara's gaze again. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I said we're picking up the girls at seven-thirty tonight. Lena is making reservations."

"Lena? Is that her name?" Over their shoulder, Alex points at their computer screen with their thumb.

"Yup."

"Okay, that's an improvement over Hottie McTonguePiercing."

"Eh, it was growing on me. Her last name may still be McTonguePiercing. I never asked."

"Sounds unlikely." Alex brushes the short hairs at the side of their head with their fingertips. "Okay, we need to get out of here early and change."

"Yeah, me especially," Kara says gesturing to her lap. "The coffee at that cafe was definitely made for drinking, not wearing."

"Go ahead and leave early and put on something clean. I'll take off about a half an hour early, so I have plenty of time to panic about what I'm wearing."

"Want me to stop by your place to help?"

"God, yes. I'm already starting to panic."

"No reason to panic. This is going to be a great night, and if things go horribly wrong, I'll just toss a pot of hot coffee on the table, and you and I can sneak away in the ensuing panic."

Alex wipes their sweaty palms on their slacks. "I'm going to hold you to that escape plan. I might need it."


	5. 5 - Eat Dessert First, Life is Uncertain

After multiple outfit changes by Alex, Kara and Alex leave Alex's apartment only running a few minutes late. Alex has settled on a suit with a vest and a tie. Kara's dressed similarly, but she opts for an open collar and suspenders, more casual but still dressy. They race over to Lena's, breaking a few traffic laws on the way but with the full force of the federal government to protect them, and end up parking illegally in front of Lena's apartment. Sometimes, it's good to be the law.

Kara: "We're downstairs. Should we come up and get you?"

Lena: "Stay put. Sam and I will be there presently."

"Okay, the girls are coming down to us. You good?"

Gripping the steering wheel, Alex exhales heavily. "I probably won't throw up… yet."

"I'll take that as a yes." Kara claps Alex on the shoulder. "Alex, you've got this, and I've got your back."

"And if things go sideways?"

"We toss coffee and run." Kara gives Alex's shoulder one quick squeeze before removing her hand. "Never do a mission without an exit strategy."

They sit for a few minutes, Kara reassuring Alex from time to time, and then Kara opens her door. "The girls are here."

As Kara gets out, Alex frowns at the empty lobby. "How do you…" They get out of the car and walk around to the sidewalk to join Kara. "How do you know they're coming?"

Kara pats her pocket. "Lena texted me."

"Oh. I didn't even notice you checking your phone."

Instead of replying, Kara gestures toward the lobby with her chin. "There they are."

Alex's gaze follows the gesture toward the lobby, and out of the elevator, the ladies appear. They're both wearing dresses, Lena's blue and Sam's red, both just above knee-length and with fitted tops. Lena's is designed to fall off her shoulders while Sam's has thin straps under a shawl.

"Wow," Alex breaths, stumbling when Kara elbows them.

"Right?" Kara beams. "Good thing you changed your socks that third time. It would have been awful if your foot coverings had ruined the whole night."

"Shut up," Alex says elbowing Kara back and then rubbing their tender arm that aches like they just connected with an I-beam. "That last pair had a line across the toes that bothered me. I would have been distracted all night."

"With her here?" Kara cocks her head toward the ladies who are approaching them. "Alex, I think you could walk barefoot across broken glass, and you wouldn't notice if that woman was smiling at you."

As if proving the point, when Sam smiles in their direction, Alex smiles back wistfully. The ladies stop a few feet back, close enough to be part of this quartet but far enough back not to enter personal space. However, Kara crosses the small space to make contact.

"You look amazing." Kara steps in close, placing a kiss on Lena's cheek before stepping away again.

"Thank you," Lena says with a smile. "So do you."

"What, this old thing?" Kara grins then leans in a bit closer and whispers, "It's drip dry."

"Oh, good lord. I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"Hopefully, we'll come up with some new things to tease you about."

"I can't wait," Lena says with an eye roll.

Off to the side, Alex extends their hand. "I'm Alex."

"Sam," she replies, shaking Alex's hand. "It's very nice to meet you."

"Yeah, same." Alex clears their throat and says, "You look gorgeous, even better in person."

"Oh, Lena sent you a picture?"

Alex's eyes flash wide before they cover the moment with a smile. "She sent a picture to Kara."

"Ah." Sam nods. "Kara sent Lena several pictures of you, and she shared them with me. Do you own anything besides suits?"

"Yeah, sure. I've got workout clothes, jeans, t-shirts, flannels, tank tops. You know, the usual."

Sam hums slightly as she nods and reaches out, pinching the knot of Alex's tie and adjusting it. "Well, the suits are a nice choice. They work for you."

"Yeah?" Alex smiles.

"Yeah." Sam's smile grows, slow and sexy, and she says, "And they work for me too."

"Jesus H. Christ," Alex stammers, a blush rising up their neck to their cheeks.

"Should we go?" Lena asks as Kara opens the rear passenger side door for her.

"Let me," Alex says, pulling open the front passenger door.

They all enter the vehicle, Kara in the backseat with Lena as Alex drives to the restaurant. While Lena and Kara chat about science, Alex strikes up a conversation with Sam.

"So, Sam, do you live here?"

"In National City?" Sam shakes her head. "I live just outside the city, to the east in Paradise Hills."

"Yeah, I know it. It's nice, residential. You own over there?"

"Yes, we have a house. It's not the biggest or nicest one in the neighborhood, but it's ours."

"We?" Alex asks missing casual with their tone.

"My daughter and I."

"Oh, you have a daughter."

"Problem?" Sam asks as her brows raise.

"What, no." Alex glances back and forth between Sam and the road. "Someday, I'd like to be a parent. I just don't think I could do it alone. So, is her father still in your lives?"

"No." Sam sits back, her gaze wandering across the passing cityscape. "He didn't want to be a parent, so he enlisted right out of high school. Somehow, living in a tent in the desert in the Middle East sounded better to him than getting to know his daughter."

"Idiot," Alex mumbles, scowling.

Sam smiles over at Alex, reaching out and squeezing their forearm. "It was his loss, and Ruby, my daughter, is probably better off for it. Sometimes no parent is better than the wrong parent." She glances back at Lena who is still enraptured in discussion with Kara about neutrinos which trips into a conversation about supernova remnants and gamma ray bursters.

Alex nods, glancing in the mirror to see where Sam is looking. "So, how do you and Lena know each other?"

"Actually, we met in school. She was juggling masters degrees, and I was juggling a degree in mathematics and a toddler. We were both kind of social outcasts, and we ended up bonding over math and our lack of social life."

"Two beautiful, brilliant women being social outcasts?" Alex shakes their head. "I can't picture that."

"Well, it happened. Of course, Lena was sixteen, and I was living in a studio apartment with Ruby, so neither one of us was out enjoying the nightlife. We started studying together and became friends. Eventually, Lena told me her apartment had an extra bedroom, and she invited us to stay with her. I was hesitant at first. I didn't want to take advantage of her, but I realized Lena was looking for company too, and I ended up moving in. Ruby got an Aunt Lena, and I was walking distance to the school in a better place with a bedroom door that closed. Lena even got me an interview with her brother's company when I graduated."

"Oh, you work for her brother?"

Sam responds with a humorless laugh. "I used to, but there were some issues with the company, and Lena ended up taking it over. It's in much better hands now. We're going in the right direction. Lena moved me from my senior accounting position to be her CFO. She said she needed someone she could trust."

Alex nods.

"So, how about you? How do you and Kara know each other?"

"Me and Kara? We work together too."

"Oh, doing what?"

Lips pursing, Alex frowns before saying, "We're in law enforcement."

"Oh, you're cops. That must be exciting."

Alex chuckles. "You'd think our jobs are exciting, but actually, our days are pretty boring. We spend our time staring at computers and filling out paperwork. It's not what either of us expected when we were in the academy."

"Not a lot of crime in National City?"

"We're, uh, we're in the cyber division." Alex smiles nervously over at Sam.

"Ah, law enforcement geeks. Smart, dangerous, and sexy. What's not to like about that?"

"Se… Sexy?" Alex stammers.

With a little hum, Sam replies, "You know how to wear a suit."

Blushing brightly, Alex stares at the road. "Thanks. I'm going to concentrate on my driving before it's the most dangerous thing about me, and we end up wrapped around a telephone pole."

"Well, don't let me distract you," Sam replies with a chuckle.

"Too late," Alex mumbles, glancing over at a smirking Sam who no doubt heard them.

The drive to the restaurant is relatively quick, just a few more pleasantries exchanged between each couple before they leave their vehicle to the valet. While Lena and Sam head in, Alex grabs Kara's elbow and keeps her outside for a brief conversation.

"What? What's wrong?" Kara glances at the two women going into the restaurant before frowning at Alex.

"Nothing," Alex replies in a harsh whisper even though they're alone. "She's beautiful, funny, smart, charming, pretty much perfect, and I'm going to screw this up."

With a chuckle, Kara grasps both of Alex's shoulders. "You are such a gay mess."

"Tell me something I don't know." Running their hand along the side of their head, Alex takes a deep breath. "Meeting her in person, it's really real. It feels very different than just seeing her picture, you know?"

"Right, it's better. She's a real 3D human, Alex. Enjoy."

Alex grabs Kara's wrist when the blonde tries to walk away. "I know. I know, but I feel guilty."

"For?"

"Because I've been looking at your date's pictures for a long time and ogling Sam for the past week, and they have no idea. Kara, Sam asked what I did, and I told her you and I were in cyber crimes for law enforcement."

"We are in cyber crimes for law enforcement."

"But Sam thought I meant NCPD, and I didn't correct her. What is she going to think when she finds out the truth?"

"That you have a cool job, which you don't, but you don't need to tell her that part." Kara puts an arm over Alex's shoulder, leading them to the door. "Look, I respect your desire to be honest, but how about we make it through one date with these ladies before we start revealing national secrets. If things go well, and I hope things go well, then after dessert we can tell them all about how we found them. Just don't end this first date before it even gets started, okay?"

"Okay." Alex takes a cleansing breath. "Sorry, I'm just not used to being around women this hot."

"Gee, thanks a lot."

"Oh, you don't count. You're like a sister to me, Zorel. That's different."

"Awww, thanks," Kara pulls open the door, "and you're like the sibling I never had… or wanted."

"Hysterical."

When they get inside, the hostess is waiting with menus, and Sam and Lena look at them expectantly.

Lena quirks up an eyebrow. "We thought you two got lost."

As Alex glances nervously at her, Kara smiles and replies, "Well, now you know my secret. I have no sense of direction. I ended up in an alley around the corner." She puts her arm around Alex's shoulder again pulling them in close to her. "Luckily, Alex came to my rescue."

"You think you can find your way to the table?" Sam asks, an amused smile on her face.

Kara gestures to the hostess. "Only because we have a tour guide. Please, lead on."

The group is seated with the promise that their waiter will be with them quickly, and he is. Waters are poured, and drink orders are taken before the group is left again to peruse the menu.

"I read about this place in the paper," Kara says while looking over the menu. "I heard they had like a two-week waiting list. Has that changed?"

"Not really." A small smile lights Lena's lips as she studies her menu.

Sam glances over at Lena. "Well, I guess your name is good for something after all."

Lena smiles over her menu and shakes her head at Sam. "Want to trade?"

Sam closes her menu, using her finger to hold her spot, and meets Lena's gaze. "Does that offer come with your family?"

"Most definitely."

"I'm good," Sam says opening her menu again. "Ruby and I will stick with Arias."

"Coward," Lena mutters.

"Are you intimating I'm afraid of your mother?"

Lena nods.

"You'd be right," Sam admits, "but that doesn't make me a coward. It makes me wise. Your mother is a frightening woman."

"All right, I'll give you that." Lena looks at her menu again. "What are you thinking of getting?"

"I got prime rib here last time, and it was amazing. I see no reason to mess with success. You?"

Lena wrinkles her nose. "Definitely not the prime rib."

"Not a fan of a good steak?" Kara asks.

"Lena doesn't eat meat," Sam says.

"So long as you get the right proteins, we don't need it as a species. Do you have any idea what the meat industry does to the environment with just methane release and fossil fuel consumption?" Lena shakes her head. "I'm going to start with the roasted brussel sprouts appetizer. I don't know what the chef does to them, but they're addictive."

"You like brussel sprouts?" Kara asks.

"I love them. They're one of my favorite vegetables."

Kara watches Lena for a moment before exhaling and closing her menu. "Thank goodness."

"Oh, you're a brussel sprouts fan?" Lena asks.

"No, I hate them. They're the third scariest vegetable after artichokes and," Kara shudders, "kale. To look at kale is to see the face of true evil. However, this means you have a flaw. I was really starting to think you were perfect. Don't get me wrong. You're out of my league, but at least you're still in the atmosphere."

"You are ridiculous." Lena looks back at her menu, but she's smiling.

"I have it on good authority I'm an idiot." Kara winks over at Alex.

"A genius idiot," Alex adds.

"Yup," Kara flips a page in her menu, "it's the combination that makes me so charming."

"Oh, you're charming, are you?" Lena lifts one brow, smirking at Kara.

An elbow on the table, Kara leans against her hand and smiles back at Lena. "I don't know. You tell me."

With a gentle shove to Kara's forearm, Lena shakes her head.

"You know, you smiling at her is just encouraging her," Alex says.

"Then she needs to be less charming."

"You should watch her scarf down a box of doughnuts in one sitting. Then we'll see how charming you think she is."

"It's not my fault that doughnuts taste like, well, doughnuts. They may be the best dessert in the galaxy… figuratively speaking."

"What about ice cream?"

Kara gasps and snaps her menu closed and down onto the table. "Alex, do not make me choose between my children."

While the others chuckle, Alex shakes their head and looks over at Sam. "So, the prime rib is good?"

"Amazing. You're a fan of steak?"

"Well, I can't eat a whole cow in one sitting like Kara, but I do love a good steak." Alex peruses their menu again. "I was thinking about getting the t-bone."

"With the garlic and herb butter?" Sam smiles and nods. "I highly recommend it."

"Highly recommend, huh?" Alex closes their menu and lays it on the table. "Well, then that's what I'll get."

"You trust me?"

"Sure." Alex shrugs. "I think people deserve to be trusted until they prove you wrong."

"I would think you'd be a bit of a cynic in your job. Don't you see the worst of people?"

"Not really." Alex folds their hands over their closed menu on the table. "We get to really see people, but most of it is good. Even when we do see something bad, it gives us perspective."

"Right because we're really lucky," Kara says as she closes her menu. "We have jobs and a roof over our heads. We've got this whole beautiful planet so long as we treat it right."

"Lena, did you, of all people, find a couple of optimists?" Sam asks.

"Well, not on purpose. You know me on that glass-half-full versus half-empty thing."

"Right, you're calculating the volume of the liquid in the glass, you geek." Sam nods as the waiter approaches, and the group places their orders.

Over dinner, the group enters into a lively discussion that swiftly moves between technology, environmentalism, politics, and then into sexual orientation.

"So, Lena, when did you come out?" Kara asks.

"Publically and officially? Actually, just this week. Sam and I posted something on my Instagram about it, once my PR department approved it. There was definitely some discussion around that."

"Have you dated women before?" Alex asks.

Lena chuckles. "Yes, I've known I was gay since I was a young teen, but all of my dating was rather… Let us say private. For public functions, I'd appear with some man on my arm. My family insisted. They're a bit…"

When Lena hesitates, Alex suggests, "Narrow-minded?"

"Yes, let's go with that. It sounds much better than homophobic, xenophobic, lunatics." Before anyone can respond, Lena asks, "What about you, Kara? When did you come out?"

"Oh, it really wasn't a big deal where I grew up. You pretty much loved who you loved, and no one questioned it."

"That sounds lovely. Where's that?" Sam asks.

"Where's what?"

"Where did you grow up?"

"Oh, uh… France, Paris to be specific. They call it gay Paris for a reason, right?" Kara picks up her soda, taking several gulps.

Sam turns her attention to Alex. "What about you? When did you come out, and how did your family take it?"

"Well, I tried to date guys in college, but it was an awful experience. Mainly, it was just me drinking too much and hooking up with frat boys. At the end of my second year, my father sat me down because he was worried about me, and I ended up breaking down and coming out to him. He just held me, let me cry and told me that he loved me. My mom was great too."

Lena swallows her bite of food. "Sounds like you two have good families."

Kara smiles before filling her face again, and Alex says, "My parents were amazing both times I came out to them."

Sam glances over at Lena before asking, "What do you mean, both times."

"Oh, well, first I came out as a lesbian. Then I came out as nonbinary."

There's a moment of silence, and then Lena says, "Thank you for sharing that with us, Alex. We wouldn't want to misgender you."

"Absolutely," Sam says. "Kara will you please pass the salt?"

Alex waits several moments, but when nothing else seems to come of it, tension releases from their shoulders. A few seconds later, the tension returns when Sam speaks up.

"Actually, I do have a question about being nonbinary. I don't want to offend you, but I've always been curious about this."

Alex braces themself. "Go ahead."

"Which bathroom do you use? I mean, neither is right, but you can use either, so how do you decide?"

"Uh, wherever the line is shorter?"

"Damn, that's lucky." Sam stabs a piece of her steak and points with the fork. "You know, I've been to a few concerts and sporting events, and the line for the women's room is always so long. Why is that? I don't think there are more women there."

"Urinals," Alex says. "Men's rooms have urinals, so that's like doubling the stalls. Also, using a urinal is faster than using the toilet, not that I know from personal experience." Alex takes a piece of their steak, chewing it while a thoughtful expression grows on their face. "Men are also less likely to wash their hands."

"Eww, gross." Sam's face wrinkles up in disgust. "I'd just use the women's room then."

"Actually, women's rooms are germier than men's rooms," Kara says. "Even though women are more likely to wash up, men can go in and out without touching anything, so they're less likely to spread their germs."

"Another good reason for automated sinks and soap dispensers," Lena says. "The less you touch, the fewer germs you spread and collect."

"It's better for the environment also," Kara adds. "It turns off the water while people are soaping up and keeps it from getting left on."

"Unless there's a malfunction with the sink," Alex adds, and everyone nods. "Okay, so my pat answer is wherever the line is shorter, but that's not really it. It's where ever I feel like I'm presenting."

"Presenting?" Sam cocks her head to the side. "Can you explain that?"

"I'll try. I'm AFAB, Assigned Female At Birth, and sometimes I feel more feminine. However, sometimes I feel more masculine. It affects the way I dress and carry myself, the way I present myself. So, I tend to use the bathroom of whatever way I'm presenting. Usually, it's not a big deal either way, but I have had a few comments in the women's room. All I really need to do is respond because I have a high pitched voice."

"Do you ever have a problem in the men's room?"

"Not as often because men are less communicative and less likely to challenge a woman who they think is in the wrong bathroom, but it happens. I don't want a conflict, so if anyone has a real issue, I'd rather just wait until that person leaves the restroom and use it then."

"If they're really obnoxious, that's where having a badge comes in handy," Kara adds.

Alex nods. "One of the perks of living in southern California is that I don't run into conflict often. I worry for nonbinary and trans people living in less progressive areas. I worry for kids."

The mood becomes a bit somber, and everyone eats in relative silence for a few minutes.

Finally, Sam asks, "What about siblings? I'm an only child. Alex? Kara?"

"Only child," Kara agrees around a mouthful of food.

"Me too," Alex says. "What about you, Lena?"

"Unfortunately, I'm not. I have an older brother."

"Problems with you coming out?" Kara asks with a frown.

"I wish. He was the first person I came out to, and he was incredibly supportive. He's just… He's not that person anymore."

"What changed?" Alex asks.

"He did. He became obsessed with, well, it's crazy, but he became obsessed. He was convinced his best friend was at the center of some plot to take over the planet. In trying to prove it, he killed so many people. That's why I left Metropolis."

As Kara chokes, her palm connects with the table with enough force to spill beverages and rattle plates. She stands quickly, knocking her chair over backward and then begins to cough explosively. Alex is on their feet next to Kara, one hand slapping Kara's back. Finally, Kara grabs her napkin from the floor, coughs into it, and excuses herself with a few more coughs.

"I'm, ah, I'm going to make sure she's okay," Alex says and hurries after their friend. In the bathroom, Alex finds Kara staring into the mirror and splashing water on her face. "Hey, are you okay? I've seen you eat a doughnut in three bites without so much as a throat tickle. What happened out there?"

Grabbing a paper towel, Kara wipes off her face. "I know Lena's last name."

"It's not McToungepiercing?" Alex replies with a grin.

Kara balls up the towel and tosses it across the bathroom to land in the trash… nothing but net. "Luthor."

The smile slowly falls from Alex's face. "What?"

Kara nods. "I never asked her last name. I put my name and number into her phone, and she texted me, but no last name. What she said about her brother, though, I know who he is. I have a cousin in Metropolis, and… Alex, I went out there and saw what happened. He killed so many people."

"Oh, fuck." Alex inhales, letting out a deep breath. "Well, does it matter to you? Not the death. Obviously, that matters, but does who her family is matter?"

"It's not that simple, Alex. What her brother did—"

"Were her brother's actions. You heard how she spoke about her family. She moved across the country to get away from them." As Kara's brows furrow and she seems to consider that, Alex adds, "Do you want to be judged on your family's actions or your own? I've read a bit about L-Corp, and Lena Luthor is doing some great work for this country, for this world. Shouldn't she be allowed to create her own legacy?"

Kara is quiet, hands on hips and head hanging for several moments before she lifts her face, a hint of a smile on her lips. "Thank you. Bring it here." She holds out her arms and embraces Alex. "You really are my sib from another crib, you know."

"I know," Alex replies with a laugh. "It's just too bad I got both the looks and the brains in this family."

"Hey!" With a laugh, Kara gently pushes Alex away. "I'm not **that** ugly, and I happen to be selectively intelligent."

"Very selectively," Alex replies, smiling. "Now, are you ready to go back to the table before the ladies think we dined and dashed?"

"Well, there is dessert?"

"Ah, your priorities return." Alex loops their arm through Kara's, and the two of them head back to the table.

"Are you all right?" Lena asks Kara as they return.

Kara smiles sheepishly as she takes her seat. "Yeah, the food went down the wrong way."

"I promised to teach her to chew her food before trying to swallow it," Alex says.

"That's not my fault. You tasted the steak. When food tastes this good, chewing is optional."

"You know, you'll taste more of the food if you chew it," Lena says teasingly. A flash goes off, and she frowns over in that direction. "The paparazzi at it already. Alex, Kara, I apologize about this."

"What about me?" Sam asks.

"You're used to it. It's the entry fee to my friendship."

"Worth it at twice the price," Sam says as she reaches over and squeezes Lena's forearm.

Kara stands, dropping her napkin on the table. "Do you need me to do something about it?"

"Please sit, please." with a kind smile, Lena reaches up toward Kara. "The restaurant will escort the photographer out. I'm just sorry you two got sucked into the spectacle that is my life. For me, even a semblance of privacy is often too much to ask."

Kara sits, laying her napkin back in her lap. "You have privacy issues?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary." Lena takes a sip of her wine.

"You mean out of the ordinary for you," Sam counters. "If I had to deal with the photographers and fake friends like you do, I'd go out of my mind."

"Let's not think about all that. I'm just grateful for real friends, old and new."

While Kara and Alex exchange an uneasy look, Sam asks, "Did you just call me old?"

"Oh, relax, Arias." Lena grins. "Older women are hot."

"Why do I put up with you?"

"Because your daughter adores me."

"She really does. I suppose there is no accounting for taste."

Lena sticks out her tongue in response, and Sam chuckles.

Clearing their throat, Alex asks, "So, Sam, when I told you Kara and I were in law enforcement, I kind of left something out," Alex says.

"Alex, what are you doing?" Kara murmurs.

"You're not in law enforcement?" Sam asks.

"Oh, no, we are. We most definitely are," Alex replies. "We're just not cops. We're actually—"

"Alex, don't do this now," Kara urges as she grabs Alex's wrist. "Let's just get through dessert, and then we can all go for a nice walk, away from the crowded restaurant, and all talk about whatever's on our minds."

Alex frowns at Kara. "You just want dessert."

"Seven-layer chocolate cake, Alex, seven-layer." Kara holds up the dessert menu, poking it with one finger. "That's four more layers than I've ever had before. That means four more layers of frosting."

Alex waves a hand dismissively at their friend. "Your priorities are messed up."

"My priorities are fine. You're the one that can't see the chocolate cake for the popsicle girl."

"Popsicle girl?" Lena looks between Alex and Kara. "What are we missing?"

"Miss Luthor, Lena… it is Lena Luthor, isn't it?"

"Yes, it…" Lena glances over at Kara. "Didn't I mention that when we met at the cafe?"

"No, you just decided I already knew, and then you were kind enough to share your coffee with me."

"Ouch, again, I'm sorry, Kara."

Kara shrugs. "Just don't do it again."

"Why would I?"

"Well…" Kara looks over at Alex, tilting her head slightly at her friend.

"I was just doing my job," Alex says, wincing at their own words. "It was nothing personal, and I had no idea who you were."

"You had no idea who I was," Lena states flatly.

Alex nods, a pained smile on their face as they stare eagerly at Lena.

"Lena," Kara leans over and speaks quietly. "We're in a restaurant surrounded by people. There could be more photographers. I really think—"

"I want to hear this," Lena says holding out a hand toward Kara. "Sam?"

"I'm really confused," Sam admits. "I'd like to know what's going on."

Alex sighs. "You see, when I said lawn enforcement, what I was kind of hinting at is… Kara and I are in the FBI."

"The FBI," Lena repeats then looks over at Kara.

"Yeah, Alex and I are federal agents. Uh… surprise."

"Okay, but why didn't you want us to know that?" Sam asks. "What's the big deal about you two being in the FBI?"

"Oh, nothing really except," Alex clears their throat and speaks quickly, "Kara didn't exactly run into Lena by accident."

"What?" Lena's eyebrows skyrocket as she turns on Kara. "You're investigating me?"

"What? No." Kara assures, holding her hands at shoulder level. "I'm absolutely not investigating you. When we met at the coffee shop, I was being completely honest with you. I had no idea who you were. All I knew is you were beautiful and intelligent, and I wanted to get to know you."

"But Alex said you didn't meet me by accident."

"Yeah, you see, Alex…" Kara looks at Alex as her voice falters.

Clearing their throat, Alex says, "I'm investigating you… sort of."

"Sort of." Lena narrows her eyes and glares at Alex. "What 'sort of' investigation are you doing?"

"The kind that I um… I don't know who you are, but I track everything you do on social media."

"You what!?" Sam stands, slowly lowering herself back to her feet when several heads turn in her direction. She continues speaking in a lowered tone. "You're cyberstalking her?"

"That makes it sound really bad," Kara says, recoiling when Sam glares at her, "which I guess some people might take it as. It's nothing personal, though."

"It's just an invasion of privacy," Sam says between gritted teeth.

"I don't read your emails or anything. I, Kara and I, our jobs are to monitor social media. It's all public information."

"And report back to your superiors?" Sam asks.

"Sure, there's paperwork, but—"

"I'm not speaking to you." Sam points, glaring at Kara again before turning her attention back to Alex.

"Gosh, good luck here, Alex."

Alex nods. "Yes, we have to write reports, but honestly, my reports on Lena have always been incredibly boring. I never saw anything concerning in the past two years."

"Two years?" With a heavy sigh, Sam slumps back in her chair.

"Heh. Yeah. Recently, Lena starting writing these messages on Insta like she knew someone was watching, and posting pictures that were… eye opening with them. Then she started doing the same thing with pics of you, and Kara and I…" Alex looks between where Sam is stewing and Lena is still staring, wide-eyed, processing. "Maybe I should just shut up now."

"Maybe you shouldn't have said anything in the first place," Kara mumbles. "I'm probably going to get my chocolate cake smashed into my lap to go with my coffee."

After several moments of silence, Lena clears her throat. "Let me make sure I'm completely clear on this. Alex, you and Kara work for the FBI, and you're part of a division that monitors people. In particular, you've been monitoring me for years. Is that about right?"

"Um… yeah. That's right." Alex sigh. "I'm sorry. I'm really, really, sorry."

Ignoring Alex, Lena turns toward Sam with a grin. "Aha! I told you, Arias, I told you so. The government is spying on me. I was right. You owe me fifty bucks." Hand held out, palm up, Lena bends and straightens her finger several times. "Pay up."

"Seriously?" Sam sighs. "You're going to hold me to that?"

Lena's smile grows. "Let this be a lesson for you, Samantha. Never bet against a Luthor."

Grumbling, Sam fishes through her purse, pulling out her wallet and handing over the money to Lena. "Smug doesn't look good on you, Lena."

"That's ridiculous." Lena rolls up the money and shoves it down her dress front. "Everything looks good on me. You're just a sore loser."

"Hold on. Point of order." Kara holds up a hand. "Lena, are you mad?"

"Mad? Why would I be mad?" Lena twirls pasta on her fork, eating a bite. "I knew I was being monitored. I just didn't know it would bring us such," she glances back and forth between Kara and Alex, her eyes sparkling, "interesting company."

"So to clarify," Kara says, "I'm not in trouble."

"Not with me." Lena pats her cleavage. "You just won me fifty bucks."

"Awesome," Kara says, cutting into her steak, popping a piece in her mouth, and chewing happily, "because I really want the cake."

As Lena and Kara return to their meals, Alex clears their throat and gives Sam a hesitant smile. "So, am I in trouble with you?"

"Yes," Sam replies immediately, leaning down to pick up her napkin that had fallen to the floor earlier. She shakes it out, returning it to her lap. "You cost me fifty dollars." She pops a piece of roasted potato into her mouth, smiling slightly.

"Oh." Alex relaxes slightly, smiling a bit more. "Well, I could make that up to you."

Sam raises her eyebrows, watching Alex.

"You could let me take you out again without the deadweight here." Alex gestures with a thumb at Kara.

"Deadweight, huh?" Sam smiles a bit. "Let's see how dessert goes."

Alex nods. "I hear the chocolate cake is good."


	6. 6 - The Apple Falls Far from the Tree

Pulling up in front of Lena's apartment, Alex puts her car into park. As Kara hurries out of the car around to Lena's side to open the door, Alex smiles over at Sam.

"So, is your car here, or do you need a ride home?"

"No, I drove. I'm all set."

"Oh." Alex nods, looking down at the steering wheel.

"But," Sam waits until Alex is looking at her and smiles, "I could use a ride to the parking garage. It's just under the building, but these shoes aren't exactly made for walking." She gestures down her legs.

Alex watches the gesture, taking in every inch of those tan and well-formed legs. Loosening their tie, Alex asks, "What are they made for?"

Sam's smile grows slowly, but before she can answer, there's a knock on her car window.

"Hey," Kara says when Sam rolls down the window, "so Lena wants to take a walk around the block to help work off dinner. I'm going to join her. See you tomorrow at work?"

"Sure, see you tomorrow, Zorel."

Kara nods before smiling at Sam. "Sam, it was really nice getting to know you. I hope we see each other again soon."

"You could just follow me on Instagram," Sam replies, still grinning.

"Yeah? Well, I could…" Seeing the look that Alex shoots her, Kara shakes her head and stands fully upright, patting the top of the car before stepping back toward Lena. "Goodnight."

Alex and Sam wish Kara a goodnight before driving away. Down in the parking garage, Alex follows Sam's directions to one of Lena's guest spots, near the elevator, where Sam's SUV is parked. Pulling into an empty space next to it, Alex puts the car into park but lets the engine idle.

"I had a really nice time tonight." Alex's hands open and close as they grip the steering wheel.

"Even after admitting you're my best friend's professional government stalker?"

Alex winces but turns to Sam. "Actually, it got better after telling you both the truth. I'm not really that comfortable with lying."

"And yet you're in the FBI."

"Cyber division," Alex reminds. "They don't let me out in the field much unless they need someone of my skill set on site."

Sam is turned in her seat, studying Alex. "Oh, and what skill set is that?"

"Um, you know, detailed and technical… investigation."

Sam reaches out and brushes at the short hair over Alex's ears with her fingertips. "So, you like to investigate things in a detailed and technical manner?"

Alex swallows hard and loosens their tie slightly. "Well, I try to be diligent."

"I bet you are." Sam smirks as she asks, "Ever work… undercover?"

"Jesus Christ. You're going to kill me with subtext here."

"It's called flirting," Sam replies with a laugh. "If some simple flirting is going to do you in, how will you survive a second date?"

"Right, the second date. So do you still want to? I mean, will you go out with me again?"

"You're voice just squeaked a little bit. That was adorable."

"Was that a yes?"

"That was a yes."

Alex smiles brightly. "Awesome. What are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Spending time with my kid."

"Ruby, right." Alex bops themself in the middle of the forehead with their palm. "I didn't forget, I just didn't remember for a minute."

"Right because that's totally different."

"Totally."

"Look, we might as well get this clear up front. I work a lot, and I have a kid. I can probably go out once a week, but besides that, my time is Ruby's. She's my priority."

"As she should be. I wouldn't want to date a woman who wasn't willing to make their kids a priority. Adults can take care of themselves. Children should know they come first. Never give them a moment to doubt. That's how I'm gonna be when I'm a parent."

Sam studies Alex for a moment. "How are you still single?"

"Maybe I just haven't met the right woman yet."

"Maybe." Sam smiles. "Well, I have your number. I'll give you a call, and we can set up that second date."

"Call any time, and I'll answer… except when I'm at work. There's no signal in my office."

"Because it's buried deep under National City?"

Alex's eyes widened. "Who told you that. You don't have clearance."

"No, I was just joking. Is it really…" At the look on Alex's face, Sam gently slaps their arm, but she's smiling. "Jerk. You had me worried."

"You should be. I thought I was going to have to take you in and debrief you?"

"I…" Sam opens and closes her mouth before shaking her head. "And on that note, I'll say goodnight. You'll be hearing from me."

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too." Sam leans in, planting a gentle kiss on Alex's cheek with just a hint of lip encroachment. "Goodnight."

Hand on their cheek and wide eyes blinking, Alex nods. They watch Sam get out of one vehicle, into another and drive away, and still, Alex doesn't move. Finally, a smile coming to their face, Alex says, "The first of many, I hope."

Lena and Kara circle the block once before stopping in front of Lena's apartment.

"Well, I'd invite you up for coffee, but I think you might take that as a threat."

"I like to live dangerously."

Lena chuckles. "Indeed you do, Agent Zorel. Perhaps next time."

"When will that be?"

"Eager?"

"Yes, and I have no interest in playing hard to get. You're a fascinating woman. I want to get to know you better."

"Good because I feel the same."

"So…"

"So, I'll check my schedule," Lena says as she adjusts Kara's collar, "and I'll be in touch."

"Good because it's my turn to make plans. I've got to think of something to do that's as interesting as you are. Well, almost as interesting as you are."

"I look forward to seeing where your creative mind lands." Reaching out and squeezing Kara's hand, Lena says, "Good night."

As Lena's steps away, Kara takes a step after her. "Hey, Lena, I just wanted to apologize again for not being totally upfront about who I am. I was going to tell you tonight."

"Just not before dessert."

"Look, I'm a big fan of truth, justice, and the American way, but I think they left dessert off that list."

Lena chuckles. "Why do I think you're going to be very bad for my waistline?"

Kara takes a step closer, taking Lena's hand in hers. "Exercise can help with that."

"Oh, what exercises, exactly?"

"Um… like hip thrusts, abdominal twists and…" Kara holds two fingers apart in a V and then closes and opens them repeatedly.

"Scissoring?"

"I meant side leg raises," Kara says with a smirk, "but whatever the lady wants is fine with me."

"You're awful," Lena replies giving Kara a gentle shove. "Why did I go out with you in the first place?"

"Because I'm adorable."

"Hmmm… true. I'm going to head inside and get these shoes off."

"Need a hand pushing the buttons on that elevator."

"Not this time, but let's see how my fingers feel after date number two," Lena says mimicking Kara's scissor motion with her fingers. "Goodnight." Lena presses a gentle kiss to Kara's lips. It's just lips on lips, but the contact lasts for just a solid two count. Then Lena turns and walks away, going upstairs.

Kara watches her go, a smile on the blonde's lips the whole time. She draws her thumb across her lips, smiling at the streak of red lipstick Lena left, a little something to remember Lena by as if Kara could forget. As she walks away with her hands in her pockets, she's whistling. She goes most of the way down the block before taking a sharp turn into an alley. Kara slides her glasses into an interior pocket and looks around. Decidedly alone and not being observed, Kara pushes off and launches herself into the air. In seconds, she's high above the National City skyline and heading east. It only takes her a few minutes to reach the other coast and land on a balcony there. She knocks on the glass slider, waving and then entering when she receives a wave in return.

The man in the living room smiles, showing small dimples. He's tall with a broad frame, black hair, and blue eyes the same shade as Kara's. He rubs at his strong jaw as his brows furrow.

"Kara, we weren't expecting you. Is everything all right?" he asks.

"Yeah, fine, Clark. I just wanted too… Do you have a minute?"

"For you? Always cousin. What's going on?"

They sit together on the couch, Kara sighing heavily but smiling. "So, you remember Lex Luthor?"

"It's kind of hard to forget when the person you think is your best friend becomes obsessed with destroying your life. What did he do now?"

"Nothing, I just… I went on a date tonight."

"Oh, congrats. I assume it was with a human."

Kara nods. "Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Hey," Clark reaches over, squeezing Kara's forearm, "a relationship with a human, with the right human, can work out. I'm proof of that."

"Yeah, but how do you know if it's the right human? How can you be sure you aren't going to trip over another Lex Luthor? You thought he was your friend."

"Kara, he was my friend. I trusted him enough to share our secret with him. That was my call, and it was the wrong one, but his xenophobia was the problem, not humanity in general."

"But he seemed fine, right, Clark?"

"In retrospect, there were signs. He was paranoid and had fits of temper. He was also greedy, his corporation working toward lining his and his investor's pockets. He wanted to make money off of his technology, and he didn't care what negative effects it might cause."

Rising, Kara walks around the living room, rubbing the back of her neck. "So there were signs, and you just had to know to look for them?"

"I know now. When I was ready to trust someone else, I made a good choice, and my life is better for it."

Kara smiles at him. "You're a lucky man."

"Hey," he rises, grabbing his cousin by the shoulders and squeezing, "you could be just as lucky. Just be careful. Now, care to tell me about this new lady?"

"Well, she's brilliant, very advanced scientific knowledge for a human, beautiful, kind, clever."  
Kara sighs. "Clark, I feel like I could teach her things, and she'd understand them. I think I could really talk to her."

"Wow." Clark blows out a breath and steps back. "She's that smart?"

"I think so, yeah. Plus she's generous with her time and money. She donates to hospitals and shelters. She runs a technology company that's focusing on green energy and positive environmental impact products."

"She sounds perfect."

"Yeah," Kara says wistfully.

"So, how'd you meet her?"

"Um… Alex introduced us," Kara says adding a mumbled, "sort of."

"Wait, does she work with the FBI?" Clark folds his arm over his chest as he scowls. "Kara, I know you trust Alex, but we can't reveal ourselves to agents of the government or their associates."

"I know, Clark. I know. Sheesh. You know, I technically am the older one here. I would have been on this planet longer if my nav system hadn't crapped out."

"Well, I'm just glad you made it. We thought you were dead when we couldn't find any information about you landing."

"No, just getting punted across the universe until my system found its way into space where it had data to navigate again. I spent so long in stasis, I didn't think I'd ever defrost."

"Well, I'm just glad you're here, cuz." Clark claps her on the shoulder. "Now, about this human who works with the government—"

"No, no. She doesn't. She's just a private business person. She only found out that Alex and I are in the FBI tonight."

"Okay, so then how did Alex introduce you two?"

"Heh." Kara smiles nervously. "See, that's an interesting story. It's actually kind of funny when you—"

"Hey, Smallville, are you coming to bed or…" Stepping into the living room and rubbing her eyes, a dark-haired woman glances between Clark and Kara. "Oh, I thought you were out here talking out a story. I didn't know we had a guest. How's it going, Kara?"

"Great." Kara crosses the room, hugging the newcomer. "How are you, Lois?"

"Awake thanks to the jabbering aliens in my living room."

"Oh, sorry, I—"

"Forget it," Lois says waving off Kara's concern. "Smallville misses you. It's good you're here. Nothing's wrong, is it?"

"No. Well, not exactly. It's not wrong, but—"

"Kara," Clark smiles over at her, "we're family. You can tell us anything."

Sighing, she walks over to the couch and flops into it. "Okay, but promise you'll listen to everything I have to say before you form an opinion?"

"When don't I?"

"Right," Lois agrees with a grin, "we're incredibly open-minded. It's the only way to be a decent reporter."

"So, no yelling," Kara says.

"Clark, tell her you won't yell."

"Me?" Brows furrowed, he stares at Lois. "I'm pretty sure she's talking to you."

"I don't yell. You two just have sensitive hearing." Lois sits on the arm of the couch rubbing her palms together. "Okay, enough conversational foreplay. Let's get to the main event. Spill the beans, Kara."

"Beans?" Kara frowns.

"It's a figure of speech," Clark explains. "Lois wants you to tell her why you're here."

"Okay, but it's quite the story."

"Like I should make myself a pot of coffee? Are we gonna be at this for a while?"

Biting her lower lip, Kara nods. "Maybe we could order some pizzas too, all the meat and extra cheese?"

"All the meat?" Lois heads to the kitchen and pulls out a takeout menu. "Oh, boy. This is gonna be a doozie, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's about the Luthors."

Lois' heads shoots up sharply, her gaze locking with Clark's before she makes eye contact with Kara again. "Which Luthor, Lex or his equally crazy mother?"

"Neither. You see, there's another Luthor," slowly, a smile grows on Kara's face, her gaze drifting off to the side, "and she's nothing like the rest of her family."


End file.
